(Margaret is in her house. She is making herself a sandwich.)
Margaret: Ah, I like day offs.
(Margaret tries to take a bite of the sandwich, but finds a brown bug in it.)
Margaret: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! A cockroach! Eww!
(Margaret calls on the phone to an exterminator company.)
Margaret: Hello? I need you're help! There is a cockroach in my sandwich, and I'm afraid of bugs!
Man: Okay ma'am, calm down. We will be here soon enough.
(Margaret's house is being fumigated to kill the infestation of the bugs.)
Exterminator: Well, good thing you called us. You gotta classic: Cockroach infestation.
Margaret: Oh no!
Exterminator: Ah, It's nothing to worry about. All we have to do is fumigate you're house for two weeks.
Margaret: Two weeks?!
Exterminator: Well, It's either that or have cockroaches in you're wall.
Margaret: But where am I gonna stay?!
Exterminator: Look lady, I'm just an exterminator, not Mother Teresa.
Margaret(Sarcastic): Thanks for the help. Can you at least give me a quarter?
Margaret(Swipes it out of his hand): Thanks.
(Margaret goes to a telephone booth. She inserts a quarter. She dials a number.)
Margaret: Eileen, are you there?
(A screen splits between Margaret and Eileen.)
Eileen: Oh, hi, Margaret.
Margaret: Eileen, this is really important. My house is being fumigated for two weeks and I need a place to stay. Do you mind if I stay at you're house during that time?
Eileen: Sorry, Margaret, but I'm really busy these two weeks.
Margaret: With what?
Eileen: Can't say.
Margaret: Why not?
Eileen: I'm just really busy. I hope you understand.
(Eileen hangs up.)
(Eileen is making a statue of Rigby.)
Eileen: There, done. All I have to do is add a six-pack on his abs and use brown paint and I'll have fun with this all night.
(Margaret angrily puts the phone back in the booth.)
Margaret: Some friend you are, Eileen.
(Margaret and Mordecai bump into each other.)
(Mordecai helps Margaret up.)
Mordecai: Oh, crap! Sorry, Margaret!
Margaret: It's okay, It's okay. I'm fine.
Mordecai: What's wrong? You seem a little mad.
Margaret: Sorry, but I got kicked out of my house thanks to stupid cockroaches. Ugh!
Mordecai: That sucks.
Margaret: Don't remind me.
Mordecai: Well........do you have a place to stay?
Margaret: No...........I guess I won't have a place to stay.........huh.......
Mordecai: Why don't you stay at The Park until they go away?
Margaret: Sure. But, is Benson cool with that?
Mordecai: Eh, I'm pretty sure he'll let you stay.
(Cut to later. Mordecai and Margaret are at The Park.)
Mordecai: Look, Benson, I need to ask you something.
Benson: Go ahead, but make it quick.
Mordecai: Can Margaret stay here for two weeks? She's having her house fumigated, and she needs a place to stay.
Benson: Oh, you're that Coffee Shop girl Mordecai droans on about.
(Mordecai covers Benson's mouth.)
Mordecai: (Nervous): Hahahha, good one, Benson! He's such a joker!
Benson: (Muffled): Get your hands off of me!
Mordecai: Sorry! Look, is there any way Margaret can be here?
Benson: Hmm......... Well, we could use another worker around here.
Margaret: Me work here? But I'm busy at the Coffee Shop.
Benson: Well, if you want a place to stay, then you're gonna have to work here.
Margaret: Fine. What do you want me to do?
Benson: Well, before you start working here, I'd recommend meeting your fellow workers and seeing where you're going to live.
(Benson, Margaret and Mordecai go in Pops's House.)
Benson: This is The Park's house, owned by Mr. Maellard and his son, Pops.
Margaret: Hmm, not bad.
(Benson brings Pops from the kitchen to the living room.)
Benson: This is Pops Maellard, but you can call him Pops.
Pops: Why hello there, newest worker!
Margaret: Hey Pops. What's up?
Pops: Why the sky of course. Not to mention clouds and birds and-.
Margaret: No, no. I mean, what's going on with you?
Pops: Oh. In that case, I am currently in the process of listening to my Phonograph.
Pops: Yes, it is a cold day today.
Margaret: No, I meant-. Never mind.
Benson: Sorry about Pops. He's not exactly up to date in terms.
Margaret: It's okay.
(The three go upstairs.)
Benson: This is the upstairs. There's a bathroom, and bedrooms.
Margaret: That's cool.
Mordecai: And this is me and Rigby's room.
Margaret: Huh...... it could be cleaner.
Mordecai: Okay, then I'll clean it!
Margaret: You don't have to.
Mordecai: Okay, then I'll clean it later!
Margaret: Okay, if that's what you want.
Benson: (Coughs purposely): Let's move on.
(The three walk downstairs and into the kitchen.)
Benson: Anyway, this is the kitchen, where the workers eat.
Margaret: Well, yeah, I figured that much.
(Rigby is in the garbage.)
Rigby: (In garbage): What? Can't a raccoon get a good snack from the garbage?
(Benson facepalms and sighs.)
Benson: I am so sorry Margaret.
Margaret: It's fine, let's just move on.
(The three then go outside.)
Benson: And this is Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost's Trailer.
(Benson knocks on the door.)
Benson: Muscle Man, Fives, come out here. We have a new worker.
Muscle Man: Ugh.........but we're playing a video game!
Benson: I don't care. Either pause it or turn it off.
Muscle Man: But bro! It's so awesome! I don't want to lose my mojo!
Benson: Either stop playing that game or you're fired!
Muscle Man: Ugh..........fine!
(Muscle Man and Fives come out.)
Margaret: Oh............I remember you. You were that person that was eating an ice cream sandwich.
Muscle Man: Yep, that's right bro! I also wanted to kiss your lady lips!
Muscle Man: You know who else wants to kiss lady lips?! My mom! Hahahahha!
Margaret: So immature.
Muscle Man: You know who else is so immature?! My mom! (Rips off shirt and twirls it.) Yeah, I know. I'm hot. It's okay. You can kiss my lips.
Margaret: Uh, I don't. Benson, can we move on please?
Muscle Man: If ya need me baby, I'll be here!
Margaret: (Thinking): What a couple of oddballs.
(They then go to Skips's Garage.)
Benson: Margaret, this is Skips, our handyman. He always fixes everything and knows all the solutions to everything.
Skips: (blushing; slightly) He he, not everything.
Benson: He also saves The Park from disasters caused by a certain two.
(Looks at Mordecai.)
Mordecai: In my defense, Rigby causes them mostly.
Benson: Well, Margaret, that's pretty much all you need to know about The Park. You start tomorrow, 6 AM sharp.
(Cut to the morning. Margaret is awake, barely.)
Margaret: Uh..........I need coffee.
Benson: I'm sorry Margaret, but we ran out of coffee.
Margaret: What?! No coffee?! I need coffee! I can't work without it!
Mordecai: Margaret, Margaret, calm down! It's okay! We can go to the Coffee Shop.
Benson: All right, but you two better back before 6!
(Cuts to them in the Coffee Shop.)
Mordecai: What kind do you want Margaret?
Margaret: I don't care, as long as it isn't decaf.
(New waiter approaches.)
Mordecai: Who are you?
Waiter: I'm Margaret's replacement.
Mordecai: Where's Eileen?
Waiter: She called in sick today.
(Cuts to Eileen kissing her model of Rigby.)
Waiter: So anyway, what kind of coffee guys?
Mordecai: We'll have the usual, right Margaret?
Margaret: Yeah, whatever.
Waiter: Okay. I'll get your orders soon.
(Cut to a few minutes later.)
Waiter: Here you two go.
Mordecai: (Sips): Eh, not as good as Margaret's.
Margaret: (Barely awake): Uh....... (Sips). (Immediately awakens entirely and gets energetic.) Ah......... Let's go Mordecai. We don't want Benson mad.
Mordecai: Uh okay.
(Grabs Mordecai by his hand.)
Mordecai: (Thinking): She's touching my hand she's touching my hand she's touching my hand!
Margaret: You okay? You're sweating.
Mordecai: Nah, It's just.........uh...............hot.
Margaret: Oh. Well, let's keep going!
(Mordecai has hearts around him.)
(Cut to the two at The Park.)
Benson: Finally! There you two are! Do you know what time it is?!
Benson: 6:01! 6:01! One minute late! I said 6 sharp, not 6:01!
Mordecai: Come on Benson, just one minute off.
Benson: No, one minute late! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you two!
Margaret: Look, Benson. Can we just got to work now that we're here?
Benson: All right, fine. I will write this down as a warning for you Margaret. You get three. If you fail all three, you're fired!
Benson: Want a second warning?!
Benson: That's what I thought. Now get back to work right now!
(Margaret and Mordecai walk away.)
Margaret: Why is he such a grouch?
Mordecai: He probably has a screw stuck in his butt.
(The two laugh.)
Mordecai: (Thinking): Yes, I made her laugh!
Margaret: Well, we better start working. See ya later!
(Margaret walks away.)
Mordecai: Hey, uh, Benson, mind if I sleep with Margaret tonight?
Benson: I know you love her.
Mordecai: What?! Pfft! Of course not, we're just friends!
Benson: Listen, Mordecai. I know how you feel. I feel the same about Audrey and, a certain gumball machine I loved long ago......... but, the point is, you can't make your move on a girl unless you try.
Mordecai: I do! I try, and try, and try, but every time I do, I wimp out at the last minute because I get nervous.
Benson: I know. I felt the same way back then. But you just gotta be yourself and keep the butterflies under control. That way, you can make a move on her without chickening out.
Mordecai: (Deep breath): You're right.
Benson: Here, go ahead and make your move. (Throws keys at Mordecai.)
Mordecai: (Catches them): Thanks Benson!
(Mordecai runs away.)
(Mordecai goes into Margaret's room.)
Margaret: Oh, hey, Mordecai. What's up?
Mordecai: Hey. (Thinking): Don't say anything stupid. (Not thinking): The sky.
Margaret: So, what did you come in here for?
Mordecai: Well, I'm getting tired of Rigby's constant snoring, so I decided to sleep in here with you tonight. Is that okay?
Margaret: Of course! It gets lonely in here by myself.
Mordecai: (Voice cracking): Yes! (Clears throat; trying to sound manly): Uh, I mean, "Yes"!
Margaret: (chuckling): You're so funny, Mordecai!
Mordecai: So, uh, what should we do?
(Mordecai falls on Margaret.)
Margaret: Mordecai! Are you okay?!
Mordecai: I'm fine.
Margaret: Good. So, uh, are you gonna get up now?
Mordecai: Nah. I wanna stay like this for a few minutes.
Margaret: Uh, okay. So, uh, what's on your mind?
Mordecai: (Voice cracking): Nothing.
Margaret: Are you sure? I can see you sweating.
Mordecai: Uh.........uh......... I gotta go!
(Mordecai leaves and goes into the bathroom.)
Mordecai: (Washing his face): You're such an idiot! You had the chance, and you blew it! Idiot, idiot, idiot! (Banging his head on sink while saying "Idiot")
(Margaret overhears it.)
Margaret: Mordecai, are you alright?
Mordecai: I'm fine. Just go back into your room.
Margaret: Are you sure?
Mordecai: Yes. I'll be out in a minute.
(Mordecai gets back in the room.)
Mordecai: Hey, sorry about that.
Margaret: I overheard. What's bothering you?
Mordecai: It's nothing. Just something stupid.
Margaret: Mordecai, we're friends. You can tell me anything. Well, mostly. Really, what's on your mind?
Mordecai: I told you it's nothing. And I'm not nervous, if that's what you're thinking!
Margaret: Okay, then what's your name?
Margaret: Look, calm down, and tell me what's troubling you.
Mordecai: Okay....... look, ever since I met you, I've loved everything about you. I've always wanted to be more than friends. Every time I saw you with boyfriends, it made me jealous and hate myself for it because I was too chicken to tell you how I really feel. That's why I dated CJ, to make you jealous since I thought you were marrying your cousin. I know you've known a little bit about it since that song I sang for you, but it's been going on much longer than that. The point is, I love you Margaret, and I don't want anyone but you! But, I have only one question. Do you feel the same about me like I do about you?
Margaret: (tearing up): Oh, Mordecai, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me! I love you too!
(Margaret hugs Mordecai. They both cry tears of joy.)
(Benson overhears this.)
Benson: Another successful match arranged by love doctor Benson.
(Mordecai and Margaret get into their bed.)
Mordecai: Hey, it's like we're husband and wife.
Margaret: (Chuckles): We're not at that point yet, lover boy.
Mordecai: And our kid's names are Mary and Martin.
Margaret: (Chuckles): In your dreams.
(Mordecai crosses out "Name kids Mary and Martin" as "She doesn't like it" on "What to Do When Me & Margaret are a Couple".)
Mordecai: Hey, I'm getting sleepy, I'm gonna hit the hay. So, uh, maybe you could give me a good night kiss?
Margaret: Sure. (Kisses Mordecai's forehead.)
(Mordecai is frozen.)
Mordecai: (Thinking): She kisses me she kissed me she kissed me!
Margaret: You're still frozen like that?
Margaret: Well, I'll see you later at work, I guess.
(The next day.)
Margaret: Well, it appears my house is already cockroach free. Well, I guess I'll get going.
(Margaret has a briefcase and is leaving.)
Rigby: Whatever, bye.
Benson: See ya, coffee shop girl.
Skips: Bye Margaret.
Pops: Farewell, Margaret. I hope to see you once more.
Muscle Man: See ya bro! Maybe I can kiss your lady lips next time!
Mordecai: Wait, Margaret!
Mordecai: Maybe we can have a goodbye kiss? You know, on the lips?
(Margaret walks up to Mordecai. The two are about to kiss, until.)
Eileen: (Grabbing Margaret with her hand): Margaret, Margaret, Margaret! Come with me and look what I made!
Margaret: Wait, Eileen!
Eileen: There's no time for waiting! You gotta see it!
Mordecai: I was so close this time!
Rigby: Ha ha, I knew you two wouldn't kiss!
(Mordecai punches Rigby.)
(Mordecai's cell phone rings.)
Margaret: Hey, so, about our kiss.......... maybe we can do it over tonight at my house, and maybe you can stay over?
Mordecai: It's a date! Uh, I mean, sure!
Margaret: (Chuckles): See ya then!
(The call ends.)
Mordecai: (Jumps in midair and stays there)